One Year

Hi Everyone:

It’s been one year today since I received the call from the physician telling me I had tested positive for breast cancer. I hate that guy. As I sit here to update you on my progress I am reflecting on the past year with a multitude of feelings. Relief is one, I’m relieved that I survived the illness and the process, anger that I got breast cancer in the first place, sadness for my loss and resolve. Resolve that I am done with this disease forever.

It’s been quite a year, and again I thank you all for being by my side and supporting me through what was the crummiest year of my life. On one hand I can’t believe that it’s been a year already and on the other hand I can’t wait for 5 more to pass to put this experience further behind me. Some of the events are so fresh in my memory and others are a complete blur. I’m going to chalk those up to the pain killers. I’m torn. I don’t know if I want to remember so clearly how I felt during the process or if I want my brain to protect me and block out the memories. Maybe something in between?

Even though I’ve been given the clean bill of health, I still battle on. The last three months have been particularly difficult. In July I was so excited to get the remission news and congratulations from everyone, that I really didn’t look any further than that. To hear that I was not sick any more was the best news any one could have ever given me. But after the news had worn off and life was back to normal, I realized that there was still this aftermath to deal with. Every time I looked in the mirror I was reminded that I was a breast cancer patient and no words and no passing time was ever going to change that. I still have to take the “cancer be gone” pills and I still have to look at these scars every day. No one ever talks about that part.

I realized that no matter how much time passed by that I will never be able to get away from the breast cancer. Most of you can walk away any time you want and never have to give a second thought to breast cancer. It does not have to affect you at all if you don’t want it to. How lucky that makes you. I honestly hope this is the closest you ever get to it. I don’t have that luxury, I do have to live with it. Over the last three months I have been trying to come to grips with that and change my attitude on how I feel about it.

Today I look at the scars and see life’s battle wounds, I’ve got plenty of those. Some that you see and others that you don’t. Don’t we all? I’ve realized that I am still the same person that I was before the cancer, I just have a new and unique experience under my belt because of it. I am still working on healing completely from the breast cancer, physically and emotionally, and I expect that it will take much longer than my patience will allow. I still have a long way to go with the reconstructive surgery too. I’ve run into a bit of a road block. As you know, I’ve had my implants in for just under 6 months, and they’re doing great. The rest, well, not so much.

In August I had the next step in reconstructive surgery done, nipple reconstruction. The right one turned out great, the left one…fell off. Yup, the damn thing fell off just like a baby’s umbilical cord. Gone. Now I can find a lot of humor in that, I mean let’s face it, it is funny. How many people can say that their left nipple fell off? I don’t imagine that number to be too high. I’m also very frustrated and sad that it fell off. Mostly because I don’t want to go through the surgery again and I don’t want to have to wait another 6 months before I can do it.

The surgery kind of freaked me out. I was awake during the procedure, which lasted about an hour. Even though I could not feel the surgery itself, I could feel the tugging of my skin and I could hear the cutting of my skin. Not a big fan of either of those things. Thank God J.R. was there with me, holding my hand and keeping me calm. If he wasn’t there I think the Dr. would have had to peel me off the ceiling. They really need to set up a wet bar in surgery or pass out Valium at the door. I guarantee I will be heavily medicated with something during the next procedure. Bacardi, Valium, paint thinner, what ever it takes.

So now I wait for another 6 months for my skin to heal and to be evaluated for another procedure. I can’t have the tattooing done until this part is complete, so that gets pushed until late next year. In the meantime, it’s been suggested that I get my one nipple a prosthetic friend. I’ll let that one sink in. I swear to God they actually have a store that sells stick on nipples. And from what I hear, it’s not just breast cancer patients that use these things. I’ve not been to the store yet, but curiosity will get the better of me and I will go check them out. The jokes are just writing themselves aren’t they?

Some good news now, my hair is coming in quite well. It’s very interesting actually. It’s gotten curly, especially in the back. The rest of it is wavy and as nice as those two things sound, when your hair is only 3 inches long, it poses sort of a problem. I’ve been using a good bit of gel to keep it calmed down, otherwise it gets all puffed up and square and I look like a cross between Frankenstein and Ronald McDonald. I really wish I was kidding about that. When I wake up in the morning one side sticks up higher than the other and I have that Gumby thing going. Six months from now when my hair is twice as long I think I will look like Annie or Leo Sayer, not sure which but in either case I’ll have to take up singing for a while. I should probably learn the words to “The sun will come out tomorrow”.

I just had my next 3 month follow up with a bone scan, chest x-ray and blood test and everything came back negative, so that’s great news. I expect to hear those words each time I go to the oncologist. Something I am experiencing though is heart palpitations. They started right after I finished chemo. If you remember, the chemo was administered through a port which was tapped into a vein that lead to my heart, from there my heart pumped the chemo into my body. Typically there is some damage to the heart during the chemo process which is why you get a heart test before and during chemo to track any change. My oncologist is adding a cardiologist to the staff so the next round of tests will more than likely include some barrage of heart tests.

As if the chemo hadn’t caused enough problems for me, another long term side effect no one ever talks about is a change in eye sight. That’s right, chemo changes your vision. For me it changed my ability to read any thing closer than the end of my drive way. I had my eyes checked three months before my diagnosis and was fine. I had my eyes rechecked last month and now require reading glasses. Terrific. The change to my vision in one year was so drastic the Dr. was amazed. Now if I could just find one of those chains for around my neck, the transformation to middle age would be complete.

And so life goes on. I’m pretty tickled to still be among the living. Today is my milestone. Today marks the day that I am done with cancer. I’ve given one year of my undivided time and attention to it, and quite frankly that’s all that it’s going to get from me. I know I still have follow up appointments and surgeries to deal with but I’m done letting this define my life. I’d like to go back to being just Jen again, wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend and employee. I’m done with being a patient.

So as the day goes on, I will remove the lovely gifts that you’ve all sent me from my home and car and place them in my cancer box with all of the letters, cards, e-mails, breast cancer pamphlets, my journal and test results that have been my life for the last year. I will place it in the attic where I’m sure some day I will want to reopen that box and revisit the experience. But for now, I’m done.

Tonight we will be having a nice dinner at our favorite restaurant (Forepaugh’s of course) to acknowledge the end of a battle and to celebrate Steph’s 20th birthday. Unfortunately she will always have to share her favorite day with one of my crummiest. So thank you all again for your love and support, I really do appreciate it. This will most likely be my last blog entry; unless something really significant or funny happens. I wish you all well and hope that you are having a great day!

Love to you all,

Jen

They Don't Call It Cancer Free

Hi Everyone,

They don’t call it “cancer free”. What they do call it is “remission”. And today that is what I found my status to be. I am very excited about remission, remission is a very good thing for cancer patients. Remission makes me want to do cartwheels and smile a lot. And cry. And get down on my knees and thank God for my good fortune. I love remission!

I had a blood test on Friday so they could look at what they call tumor markers in my lung, liver and bones. If the enzymes in those areas come back with elevated levels then there is a chance that there is something wrong. It’s not always an indication that cancer is back but it makes the Dr. look for it with other types of tests. There are types of cancer that will not elevate the enzymes in these areas and can make it harder to detect. But, since breast cancer is one of those cancers that they have many tests for, they can pin point areas of concern pretty easily.

I will remain on hormone therapy for 5 years which will help battle the type of cancer that I “had”. Right now I am just gearing up for all the fun that hormone therapy provides. Hot flashes, hot flashes and more hot flashes. Alaska looks fabulous right now. I will see my oncologist every 3 months for the next two years, then every 4 months for the two years after that, then every 6 months for another two years and yearly after that. Pretty much for the rest of my life. Dr. Bowers told me that if I can make it 8 years without any more cancer then the odds of getting it again drops to 2%. 8 years is the magic number. Actually 20 years is, it’s kind of a guarantee then.

I have set up my next oncology appointment for the beginning of October and the next set of tests will be another blood test, a bone scan and a chest x-ray. If you remember from past updates, breast cancer can show up again in the lung, liver or spine, so they keep an eye on those areas.

So for the time being, I am going to enjoy being in remission. I will do my best to enjoy every day that life has to offer and not worry about what the next Dr. appointment brings. Let’s face it, I won’t be able to do anything about it any way, right? It’s going to be what it’s going to be. So I may as well enjoy the time I have because you never really do know. For those of you who I will see on the golf course, at Lake Vermilion or the Skydive Jump Zone, let’s go have some damn fun!

Thank you to all who have offered up prayers on my behalf, I can’t thank you enough for the blessings. I hope you all have a fantastic 4th of July weekend / week and have a fabulous day, because that’s my plan.

Love to you all,

Jen

New Knockers!

Well it’s official; I do not look like an Uncle Fester Transformer any more. Uncle Fester has been dealt with by all of my new hair coming in. Eyebrows and eyelashes are in pretty good shape and my hair is getting longer and thicker each day. For those of you who have asked what color my hair is coming in as, I’m pretty sure nature calls it “Field Mouse”. I have no idea if this is my real color or my “chemo” color. In either case it’s not attractive and I can’t wait for it to be long enough for me to color it again. As for the length and style, Billy Idol called and he wants his hair back.

On May 24th I went in for surgery for my new implants. I went to the hospital around 10:30 and got prepped in those stylish hospital gowns again. I had the same anesthesiologist as I did for my mastectomy, which made me feel good because I came out of that operation pretty well in tact. “Alive” is always a good indication that the anesthesiologist is doing a good job.

This surgery preparation was a little different than the last two. Dr. Luong (pictured here) marked me up and we were ready to go. I didn’t get any medication before to relax and I walked myself to the operating room. Weird huh? The last two times they drugged me up and wheeled me into surgery. Let’s face it, the last operation (double mastectomy) they had to damn near knock me out in the waiting room just to get me into pre-op and surgery.

The operating table is much skinnier than you would think. It looks more like a cross than a table. The room is brightly lit, cold, blue, white and steel. So I hopped up on the balance beam, cradled my head in the head cup dealio and they strapped my arms onto the cross. Then they hooked me up to the anesthesia and I was out in a nano second. They probably didn’t want me fiddling around and roll off the balance beam. An hour and a half later I was waking up in recovery.

The best thing about waking up in post op on a Thursday afternoon is Helen Edberg. She was volunteering that day and she took really good care of me while I was waking up. Recovery took about and hour and 45 minutes, longer than the lumpectomy recovery. But I was much more alert before I left this time. Helen wheeled me out to the car, said good bye and told J.R. and Steph to take good care of me. We love her for that.

Even though I just had surgery and was really sore, it felt so much better to have those tissue expanders out. I was wrapped up with a huge ace bandage and sent home around 3:45. When I got home I assumed the position with my Steeler’s blanket on the big couch downstairs, popped a Vicodin and had a snack. Steph made me soup and crackers. It was the best soup and crackers in the whole world. I was starving since I wasn’t allowed any food or drink after midnight. I was ready to gnaw off someone’s arm.

As you can imagine I was really sore for a few days because my muscles took a beating during surgery. Remember they had to drain the tissue expanders which were under the muscle, remove them and then place the implants under the muscle. She tried several sizes and I ended up with the smallest of the three that we ordered. My muscles just wouldn’t stretch any further. So I have 650 cc implants. What does that equate to in bra sizes? I have no idea. I suppose I could run to Victoria’s Secret and try some on but since I don’t need to wear a bra any more I guess I don’t really care. I’m a much sportier model than I used to be. I also had a little bit of lipo suction done right in the crook of my under arm.

When they place the implants in, part of the fatty tissue gets pushed up and looks weird, like someone is pushing their fingers through your skin, so they lipo suction that. Those of you who may be considering lipo suction, one thing, Holy ****! Does that *&#@&*^!* hurt! Forget lipo suction, go to the gym and eat right instead. It’ll be less painful. I could barely move my arms for three days and I don’t know if you know this or not but arms are important.

24 hours after surgery I was able to remove the bandage and take a shower. When I took off the bandage I have to admit I was horrified. I was all black and blue, swollen and mushed down. Imagine a ¾ filled beach ball and how that would lay on the ground, that’s what it looked like to me. You know I have felt a lot of emotions during this whole battle, one of which was extremely pissed off. This was another pissed off moment for me. I was so mad at the cancer for what it has done to my body I just couldn’t see straight.

After being mad at my situation I went right into being just broken hearted. I don’t really know how else to put it. The sadness was just overwhelming. It was the first time in my life that I actually felt uncomfortable in my own body. I’m not sure what I was expecting from this surgery but I realized that I still had a long way to go with the reconstruction process. I probably have another year to go with nipple reconstruction, scar revision and healing. It was a very deflating moment for me when I realized that.

Tomorrow will be 8 months since I’ve been diagnosed, on one hand it has gone by so quickly and on the other hand it has dragged on because everything they do to you makes you feel crummy and hurts. And I’m one of the lucky ones, I only had to have 8 cycles of chemo and no radiation so I know there are many women out there who battle way longer than I have or have to battle cancer more than once. I have nothing to complain about in the grand scheme of things.

So the practical Jen understands that there is still a long way to go until this battle is truly over with but the emotional Jen wants to throw herself on the collective floor and throw the temper tantrum of a lifetime. Practical Jen will win out of course. Since I’ve taken those bandages off and looked at myself for the first time the bruises have dissipated, the swelling has gone down and the scars look better every day. There is very little pain left, just enough to let me know that I should not push myself as hard as I’d like to. And if I should say so myself, when these knockers are finished they will be pretty fabulous, and they won’t kill me.

At the end of the month I will go back to the oncologist and have my 3 month check up and blood tests. I’m hoping that she will give me the good news that I am cancer free. Anything short of that will just be unacceptable.

I’m getting ready to start my Tamoxifen treatment and that will last 5 years. I think starting a hormone treatment at the beginning of summer is priceless. Since it’s going to be hot out any way maybe no one will notice that I’m having my 66th hot flash of the day. For those of you who don’t remember, my cancer is estrogen and progesterone receptor positive and the Tamoxifen will block those from feeding any cancer cells that still may be in my body. When the hot flashes start and we move to the North Pole we’ll be sure to forward on our new address.

So that’s it for now. I will let you know what the Dr. says on July 2nd. If you could all say a little prayer for a cancer free verdict I’d sure appreciate it. Thank you again for being here for me while I battle on. I am so lucky to have you in my life. I hope this note finds you all well and I hope you are having a great day!

All my love,

Jen

Race For the Cure and Hair Update

Hi Everyone,

Just a note to let you know the latest news. The first news is that my hair is growing back. I can’t tell you how happy I am and how much fun I’m having with that. It’s baby soft, a color I don’t entirely recognize and is about 1/2 inch long. I’m also getting my eyebrows and eyelashes back. It’s really weird to watch my face reappear on a daily basis. I’m still filling in my eyebrows with the pencil but I’d bet in about a week I won’t have to do that any more. I actually had to pluck some eyebrow hairs that weren’t contributing in a positive way to my face the other day. My last long eyelash finally fell out and is now replaced with little stubby ones. They aren’t long enough to put mascara on but I do it anyway. And lastly, I had to shave my legs the other day. Yup, I did not miss that hair or activity but it decided to come back any way.

On Mother’s Day J.R., Nicky, Steph and I walked in the Race for the Cure. Jessica couldn’t attend because it’s a much farther walk than 5K for her from France. Our friends The Carter’s, The Busby’s, JoAnne and 47,000 others however, did joined us for the event. A few observations to share with you. First off, the walk is much longer than 5K, I’ll bet we put in 1 ½ miles before the event even started. I could not believe all of the people who were walking to raise money for breast cancer, it was really amazing. It was a little chilly in the morning so there were many people wearing jackets so it was harder to pick out all of the survivors, but there were plenty of them. Many people wear pink signs on their backs with names “In Memory Of” or “In Celebration Of”. When you read all of the people who are winning or have lost their battle with breast cancer it’s pretty emotional. Fortunately they have people cheering, waving, playing music or passing out flowers along the walk.

Go figure, we were running late leaving the house before the event and I didn’t get to grab breakfast and forgot to take some Advil. So I was hungry, my back was killing me and I was sad reading all of the names on the pink cards. J.R. asked me if I wanted to stop and stretch my back for a while and I said “No, I’ve survived chemo, I can do this, and this is nothing in comparison”. So we pushed on. There was lots of cheering when we crossed the Finish line and we headed into the Mall to get some food and find the Survivor ceremony. In the Rotunda area of the mall was a sea of pink survivor shirts and pink hats, so they shuffled me in there and I found a seat. I was pretty happy to be sitting down even though the chair was hard as a rock. I don’t know what I was expecting from the ceremony, but what I was hoping for I didn’t find it here.

KARE 11’s Mike Pomerantz and Julie Nelson MC’d the event and did a nice job; they were all cheery and upbeat. However, the music was really crummy. It was really depressing. I was hoping for something more upbeat since I just survived the worst experience of my life. Next thing I know they bring out these huge boxes with entries for prizes on stage, they started giving out prizes to the survivors. Now these were really nice gifts but I have no idea what they have to do with a survivor ceremony. After the gifts were all given away they called out to the survivors to see how many years we were cancer free. There was one lady who was a 40 year survivor, several at 30, 20 and 10. Quite a few 5 years and about 25% of the room was 1 year or newly diagnosed. It broke my heart to see so many newly diagnosed and battling women. There were lots of women there with the same haircut as me.

After the ceremony we all went to lunch and talked about the event. I’ll be the first to admit that I may have participated in an event like this too close to my diagnosis and treatment. Based on my experience with this one I probably wouldn’t participate in the survivor ceremony again, it just wasn’t uplifting enough for me. I will give it another chance just to make sure though. I think the Susan G Komen for the Cure Foundation does really wonderful things for breast cancer and this event raises millions of dollars a year. I know that medications and procedures that saved my life would never have been available if the monies for research weren’t raised by this event. I just wish the survivor ceremony was better, more uplifting and a real celebration of surviving breast cancer. I don’t claim to know anything about event planning but I do know plenty about having fun. This ceremony could have been real fun too.

Lastly, I have my implant surgery today. It’s an outpatient procedure if you can believe that. I met with my surgeon two weeks ago and have decided on silicone implants over saline implants. Reading the pamphlet with all the pros and cons about silicone scared the crap out of me. These tissue expanders were looking pretty good to me as a permanent solution. Oh sure they are square, high and hard but I think I could learn to live with that. The biggest concern is a rupture and I was afraid that my skydiving career would come to an end. Dr. Luong assured me that I had plenty of skydiving years ahead of me and showed me an implant which she dug her nails into. Apparently this same implant was jumped on by a 3 year old the day before to show his mom how durable they are. So I feel better about my decision to go silicone. We are unsure about the size of the implants, those will be determined at the time of surgery. It will all depend on how my chest muscles react and how far they will stretch. At this point I don’t care what size I am, I just want them to look good and not kill me. I think those are both pretty good goals for the new boobs.

So that’s it for now. Thank you again for all of your support during this time, I really appreciate it. I am so lucky to have you all in my life and feel very blessed. I hope this note finds you all well and that you are having a really great day!

Love to you all,

Jen

Chemo and Gene Testing Update

Hi Everyone,

It’s hard to believe that I first wrote you 6 months ago with the news about my breast cancer. How quickly time goes by, even when you’re not having any fun. I do have a lot of really great news and I will try to make this quick.

First and foremost I am done with chemo. Yeah! I can’t tell you how much I hated chemo and everything that it has done to my body. But it is over with. I will miss the nurses and patients at the oncologist’s office very much. Doctor Bowers and the nursing staff was terrific, they made a truly awful experience a bearable one and dare I say, some of us even had a little bit of fun together. I can’t even describe what I feel for the other patients, there is something truly bonding between women who are battling breast cancer together. Although I may never see most of them again I will think of them often and hope that their struggles are minimal. I am so glad to have chemo behind me I feel like doing cartwheels. J.R. was out of town for training for my last session, we were both sad about that, but since he made every other Dr. apt. and chemo session it was OK. Steph came home a couple of days early and Mary took time off work to be with me. And as an added bonus, our friend Kris Edberg Lasserud showed up to the last session. So I had plenty of support. We also took a cake in as a thank you for the nursing staff, and everyone, including the other patients, had cake. We share that way. I was so elated to have the last session done I think I skipped out of the office. Later that evening JoAnne came over and made Steph and I dinner and took care of me. I really love all of my family and friends, I am so thankful to have you in my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you! So chemo is done!

So what is the next step? Well, it goes like this. The next step is surgery. I am fully expanded now and have to wait two months at full expansion before they can do the implant surgery. I have scheduled my surgery for Thursday, May 24th, Memorial Day weekend. If you can believe it this is an outpatient surgery that takes about an hour and a half to complete. Wild huh? The recovery time is practically nothing. My surgeon said that most women go in on a Thursday or Friday and are back to work the following Monday. They send you home with some Vicodin and tell you to rest. Hell I’ve already got the Vicodin so I’m ready to go!

About a month after surgery I will see my oncologist again and have another blood test done. This blood test should be able to determine whether or not I am cancer free. They can’t get an accurate result now because I still have chemo in my system. They will look at what they call my tumor markers and be able to declare cancer free or not. Once that is done I will start my hormone therapy. If you remember from one of the earliest e-mails, my type of cancer is estrogen and progesterone receptor positive. What that means is that if there are still any cancer cells in my body, then they are fed by the estrogen and progesterone in my body. What the hormone therapy will do is block the estrogen and progesterone and prevent any cancer cells from growing, essentially cutting off the “air supply” so to speak. If any one is interested, the hormone therapy drug I will be taking is called Tamoxifen. I am not sure what to expect from hormone therapy but I am pretty certain it will be unpleasant. I do know it will put me into menopause so I have that to look forward to. Let’s see, menopause or dying, menopause or dying…hmmm, I’ll take menopause for $200 Alex! As for treatment options, that’s about it for me. Life goes back to normal pretty quickly. The books say that it’s common for patients to miss all the activity of treatment and being the center of attention but I can tell you that for me, that is not the case. I am so ready to get life back the way it was before all this started and I am already not missing the Dr.’s office.

Yesterday was my last set of “labs”, which is my weekly blood test to see where my white blood cell counts are, and while I was there, I got some really great news. If you remember, a few weeks ago I took a blood test to see if I carried the cancer gene. The results came back and I do not carry the cancer gene. Why is that important? Well, by not carrying the gene, I do not have to worry about developing ovarian cancer, outside of normal percentages. A high percentage of breast cancer patients who do carry the cancer gene develop ovarian cancer at a later date. As a preventative measure most elect to have a hysterectomy. Also, the chance that my sister or niece carries the gene is highly unlikely, so they do not have to do anything out of the norm for breast cancer detection. Just knowing this information is a load off my mind. It’s just one less thing for me to worry about. Although I’d like to know what caused my breast cancer, was it a fluke or did I do something to cause it, I’m just not going to stress my self out over something that I can not change or do anything about now. Someday I will know the answer to that question but for now, it’s just not that important.

Let’s see, the last good news that I have is that I am getting my hair back. Oh sure it looks like new born baby chick hair and sticks straight up, but it is hair. It’s coming in baby soft and really blonde. I haven’t been this blonde since I screwed it up in 9th grade, so that’s kind of fun. I haven’t the slightest idea what my hair is going to look like when it comes back, I honestly don’t even know what my real color is so anything is going to be a surprise. My eyebrows and eyelashes can not come back fast enough for me. Today I noticed that my right eyebrow is darker than the left one and quite frankly I think I look like an idiot. But looking like Uncle Fester when I am out looks even funnier so I continue with the eyebrow drawing.

So that’s pretty much it for me. I’ll be going back to work on April 16th and I can not wait. I’m glad I was able to take this time off because I truly needed it. But now that treatment is over with and the surgery is fairly simple, I am so ready to get life back on track. I know this is not the end of this journey, but it is certainly the end of this chapter. I can not thank you all enough for your love and support through this whole experience. I am truly blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I probably won’t send out any more updates until after my surgery is over with, but please feel free to touch base with any questions you have at any time.

I hope this finds you all well! Have a great day!

All my love,

Jen

Uncle Fester and Me

Hi Everyone,

Well its official, I look like Uncle Fester. My eye brows have not totally fallen out but they are close. My eyelashes are making a run for the border too. Of course each eye is doing something different than the other one so it’s a challenge putting on makeup. My left eye is the most cooperative; the lashes are just thinner every where. The right eye is my problem child and the lashes are thinner but there is a big chunk missing from the middle, and why wouldn’t there be? However, without makeup I look like Uncle Fester. (me on the left)

Also I have recently started drawing on my eyebrows. One benefit of being bald when you draw on eyebrows is that you can’t buy the wrong color of eyebrow pencil. There is no hair to match or compare the color to, so I have that going for me. I was a little afraid about drawing on eyebrows. We’ve all seen the late night diner waitresses with the fake eyebrows who look like surprised raccoons. I didn’t want to look like that. Also I was certain that when I did draw on my eyebrows that I would look like someone whacked me in the face with a stick and some bark got stuck above my eye. Fortunately the make up companies have a product that goes on lightly and it’s pretty hard to mess up now. So when I do draw them on they look pretty good. Maybe I should try and color in some hair. Ha!

My treatment has been going really well. I have finished my physical therapy and have great mobility back in my right arm. I can’t tell you how happy I am about that. It’s still not 100% but probably never will be. And unless I am flipping around the parallel bars and doing the iron cross on the rings, you would never know that I have any mobility issues.

I’ve also paired back on my lymphedema physical therapy sessions. I have not had any more swelling on my right side since I have started this new chemo drug. Hopefully this will be the norm for me in the future. Luckily I can go back any time I need to and J.R. knows how to help clear out any swelling if it happens.

I’ve also gotten my compression sleeve and glove so I can fly. For those of you who do not know this, flying can cause swelling in the arm when you do not have lymph nodes. By using a compression sleeve when I fly, it reduces the chance for swelling. It’s like when you wear a ring for a long time and then take it off; your finger is still shaped like the ring for a few days before it goes back to normal. The compression sleeve does the same thing to the arm. It looks like a sleeve made out of ace bandage material. It’s really tight and to put it on I have to use this special glove. It looks like one of those green kitchen rubber gloves except it has this texture on the fingers and palm to help grip the fabric so that I get it on correctly. And then I wear a glove too, same material and color. I know I’ve talked about how expensive treatment has been but you will never guess how much compression sleeves and gloves cost. The sleeve is around $200 and the glove is around $300, for a glove. Not a pair of gloves, just one glove. And these do not last a life time just in case you were wondering if this was a one time deal, it’s not.

I’ve got my 7th chemo session coming up this week; I am very excited to get yet another one under my belt. This last session I did not take the Neulasta shot, that’s the shot that helps boost my white blood cell count. As I said in my last update, the new chemo gives me terrible bone pain, and the Neulasta shot adds to that bone pain, so in an effort to reduce the pain I didn’t get the additional shot. It did help reduce the bone pain but I still had plenty. It’s bad enough that I’m couch bound for two days and achy for another two. But I will take the pain over nausea and fatigue any day of the week. I only have to take anti nausea pills for two days instead of seven to nine. Yeah!

On Thursday I had some gene testing done. What is that? Well they can now test your DNA to see if you carry the cancer gene. Some would think it’s obvious that I do carry the cancer gene since I have cancer but that’s not exactly true. Why is that important? Well just because I have breast cancer does not mean that I actually carry the gene. It could be a fluke that my cells mutated into cancer or I could have done something to cause cancer. Like smoking, drinking, lots of chest x-rays, some environmental factor, it’s on my Dad’s side of the family, I never had children, anything could have caused it. I am the poster child for breast cancer. So I am being tested to see if I do carry it. There are two main reasons why people are tested for the cancer gene. One, if I do carry the gene then I could get another kind of cancer like ovarian cancer, which is very common for breast cancer patients who carry the gene. I can prevent ovarian cancer by having my ovaries removed instead. Two, if I carry the gene then it’s likely that my sister and niece carry it too. Once I am tested and know, they can be tested and be proactive in their healthcare. So results should be back in about 3-4 weeks. Talk about an expensive test, $3,500 for this one. This just in, breast cancer is expensive.

And the last update is regarding my reconstruction. I am mostly expanded; I have probably two more expansions to go. Once I am fully expanded, I have to wait at least two months before I can get my permanent implants. I’ve got to say, these things are really uncomfortable. And they are huge, it looks as if I had on football shoulder pads and they slipped down into my bra. They are really high, hard and squarish. I look like a transformer. An Uncle Fester Transformer. Nice huh? Sleeping with these things is a real treat. I sleep on my side and since they are so hard, they don’t move. When I’m on my side I wish I had a kick stand on my back to keep me in one spot. I keep falling back. Oddly enough you do get used to them though. But I will not miss them when they are gone.

Well that’s about it, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am looking forward to having this part of the battle over with. I really am ready to get back to life as I know it. Thank you all once again for your love and support. I am so lucky to have you all in my life. I am truly blessed. I hope this e-mail finds you all well and I hope you’re having a fabulous day!

Love to you all,

Jen

New Chemo (Taxol) and Guest Speaker Update

2/26/07

New Chemo and Guest Speaker Update

Hi Everyone,

Just a couple of updates on what’s going on lately. First, I have started my second chemo drug, Taxol, and I have had a pretty good reaction to the drug so far. This Thursday I will go for the second cycle of Taxol. It takes about 3 ½ hours to administer and that combined with blood tests and the anti nausea drip, we are there about six hours total. After Thursday I will only have two more chemo sessions left. Yeah!

I was told by a cancer survivor that Taxol is a dream come true in the chemo world and she was not kidding. Even though it takes forever to administer, I do not get the nose burning, chemical taste that I did with Cytoxan. I will not miss that one bit. I also did not get as nauseous as I did with the first chemo drugs. Normally I would take anti nausea meds for 7-9 days with the last drugs and this time I took them for only 2 days. So that made me happy.

What didn’t make me happy about Taxol is one of the major side effects, bone pain. I could definitely do without the bone pain. As one who has bone pain most of the time I thought I was pretty well prepared for it. Not so much. This bone pain was really in there. It started Saturday night and didn’t end until Wednesday. It was in my joints, ankles, knees, hips and low back, so much so that I was couch ridden for two days. As one who hates to take pain meds, I took them any way. It didn’t help much with the pain but it certainly made day time TV more interesting. In the grand scheme of things, I will take the bone pain over nausea any day of the week. I also had way more energy and felt like my regular self in a day or two.

On another note, as most of you know, Nicky, our oldest, is a 4th grade school teacher. She teaches many subjects, one of which is health. She has a health book that the kid’s use that literally says the sentence “if you get cancer you will die”, the book is 12 years old and clearly outdated. So she told the kids that the information wasn’t necessarily true and talked about me again. If you remember from an earlier e-mail, the kids sent me jokes as a get well present when I went in for my surgery, so they know that I have cancer.

On Friday I went to talk to both of her health classes about cancer and let them know that you don’t always die from cancer if you catch it early. It was really fun and the kids were great. I told them about my type of cancer and some of the things that I was going through with my battle. At the end and pretty much during the whole “presentation” the kids asked a ton of questions. Depending on the questions asked made each session go a little different.

Some of the questions the kids asked were:

• Did it hurt?
• How did you find it?
• How much does your chemo cost?
• How many shots do you have to get?
• Are you going to die?
• What color was your hair? What did it look like?
• Do you have to miss work?
• Were you scared when you found out?
• Can you get Neulasta even if you don’t have cancer?
• How did you get cancer?

There were bunches more but you can see they asked great questions. They really put a lot of thought into them. I showed them my bald head and my scar on the back of my head from the 5th grade swing set incident. I think they liked that part the best. A few of the kids knew people who had cancer, some who lived and some who died. It’s unfortunate that cancer affects so many people regardless of who gets it.

Afterwards I passed out hot pink breast cancer bracelets to each of the kids. I had a great time with them and I hope they did too. Nicky, or should I say Miss Anderson, is a wonderful teacher and we are very proud of the work she does.

Well thanks for listening, again. I hope you are all doing well and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love and support. Have a great day!

Love to you all,

Jen

Halfway Done with Chemo!

2/8/07

Hi Everyone,

It’s been a while since I have updated you with what’s been going on so I thought I’d send out a quick note. Good news, the first part of my chemo is finished. I have completed 4 cycles of Adriamycin and Cytoxan treatment. I have to say I am not going to miss either of these drugs but am thankful that they are available to help me become cancer free. The side effects have been pretty brutal and the treatments themselves have been no picnic. All in all though, I think I’m doing pretty well. We celebrated with our friends the Wrights, Hudoba's and Edberg's at our favorite restaurant; Forepaugh's in St. Paul.

The first chemo session was the worst by far. The second cycle was much better because the Dr. changed my anti nausea drugs, and then I wasn’t as sick. The not so fun part about cycle #2 was that I was still trying to figure out how to manage the anti nausea drugs and got my self addicted to Compazine. That was fun. It took about 3 days, 47 walks and 29 games of Scrabble to get through. I was a little hyper active. Chemo #3 and #4 were not as bad. Since I was more familiar with the anti nausea drugs I bypassed the addiction part and I was also able to handle the fatigue better. The fatigue is a killer; it just comes out of no where. All of a sudden I just want to sleep and sometimes the floor looks like a pretty good spot to crash.

I also have what they call “chemo brain”. Chemo brain is a lot like Alzheimer’s mixed with brain damage. If we didn’t know any better J.R. would have sent me for a couple of CAT scans by now. There are a lot of started sentences, not so many finished ones. Also decision making is a challenge. Want to make a lunch plan? I’ll change my mind 13 times and go into low blood sugar shock before I can decide what I’m hungry for. Mostly because I can’t taste anything. Chemo has wrecked my taste buds. I can’t taste anything salty, sugar yes, salt no. I guess I should be lucky it’s not bitter I can taste. I am basically killing myself with hot and spicy food. The only reason I know that is because I have to blow my nose 64 times during a meal. And my sense of smell is incredible now, weird I know. I can smell things 3 floors away. Flowery stuff really gets on my nerves and I’m about ready to take out Abercrombie & Fitch. Every time I walk past that store the perfume wafting out the door makes me sick. The TSA should hire me to replace the bomb sniffing dogs at the airport, Fido would be jealous if he had my nose right now.

So far I have managed to keep my eyebrows and eyelashes so I still look fairly normal, bald, but normal. With my luck they will fall out at the last chemo cycle. Also, my nails have been replaced with titanium. Honestly, the bionic woman has nothing on my nails; I could open a tin can with these things. I don’t dare try the nail clippers a belt sander would be the better option. Another fun side effect is the chemo is drying my skin from the inside out. I’m starting to look like Keith Richards or one of those 1970’s dried apple people. There is not enough moisturizer on the planet right now. There are other side effects I could talk about but I don’t think any one would still be my friend if I did. Trust me; you really don’t want to know.

My next round of chemo is called Taxol. I will have four cycles of that drug and it will be taken every two weeks via IV. This chemo drug takes 3 ½ - 4 hours to administer so my time spent at the Dr.’s office will be about 6 hours each time. Can you believe that? Sitting still for that long will be hell on me. I have heard this next drug is not as brutal as the last two. I will not be as nauseous but I will have bone pain. Fabulous. Also, I guess this chemo drug makes you really hyper active so our house will be really clean and organized. As a matter of fact, I will probably be looking for things to organize so if anyone has pictures, closets or attics that need help, let me know. I will be done with our house after the first cycle. The anti nausea drugs will change too. Get this, I get to take three drugs 12 hours before, 6 hours before and 6 hours after. That’s a lot of drugs. I won’t miss the drugs when this is over.

In addition to chemo, I have been to what seems like a bazillion Dr. apts. I am going through physical therapy, to get range of motion back in my right arm, lymphedemia physical therapy, reconstruction “fill ups” and weekly labs. I swear they should just give us a complimentary parking pass and name a wing after me.

For those who do not know what lymphedemia is, it is a swelling of a body part due to the removal of lymph nodes. Since I had the nodes under my right arm removed, I am susceptible to swelling in my “upper right quadrant”. There are lymph nodes throughout your whole body that moves fluid and cell waste from point A to point B. Once the nodes are removed you have to manually move built up fluid to other parts of your body where lymph nodes are present. It’s actually pretty cool how it all works. The lymph nodes are just under your skin and light touching moves the fluid to another area. JR is being trained by the therapist so he can help me when there is a build up. If nothing is done with the fluid, it can become a permanent swelling. I think it’s safe to say I don’t want a big arm or puffy arm pit. The swelling feels really weird, imagine having a doubled up tube sock stuck under your arm and down your side but underneath your skin, it feels a lot like that.

As you can see, even though there has not been much in the way of updates to you all, I have been really busy with treatment. For those of you who do not know, I have taken some short term disability to get through the rest of chemo. With the chemo brain, fatigue and a bazillion Dr. apts. I just can’t do my job effectively. So I have taken some time off. I’m 8 days into it and I’m already bored to tears. God help me I’m starting to get on my own nerves.

Thank you again for all of your support, I appreciate it and am so lucky to have you all in my life. Luckiest girl in the world. Thanks for listening, again, and I hope this e-mail finds you all well. Have a great day!

Love to you all,

Jen

KARE 11 Interview - Join the Debate over Breast Cancer Ad Campaign

Hello:

Today I was at the oncologist for some blood work, and was asked to review and comment on a new advertising campaign sponsored by the Susan G. Komen For The Cure Foundation. The ad features a woman wearing a shirt with some very strong language on it depicting how some women feel about fighting breast cancer. The campaign has spurred some controversy.

One side feels it is too aggressive and violent, and others feel it represents the attitude one needs to fight breast cancer.

KARE 11 News was at the Breast Center getting comments from Health Care Providers and some patients, including me, on the topic. J.R. and I actually saw the ad in a magazine on Tuesday and thought the ad was very good.

You may review the story and watch the interview at: www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=148833

Check it out.....decide for yourself......and share your comments in the comment section below.

Love to you all,

Jen

Head Shaving Party!

Hi Everyone,

Saturday night was a total blast! Our good friend Tom Mitchell decided to shave his head and be bald with me to support my battle with breast cancer. In addition, Mitch recruited another five people to do the same and we had a head shaving party at our house. About 20 of our friends joined the fun, food, fire, head-shaving and fireworks on Saturday evening. There were a lot of laughs along the way I can assure you.

Since I was the original baldy, I had the dubious honor of being the head clipper gal, and if I should say so myself I did a pretty good job of it. First person in my chair was Kelly, she wanted a Mohawk, and a Mohawk she got. We did have some adjustments to the Mohawk later because it was too long in the front at first but she looks fantastic!

Second up was Mitch, and let me just say, Uncle Fester has nothing on Mitch! JR did shave the remaining stubble after the initial clipping, and Mitch looks fabulous! Next was Eric and again, not to toot my own horn, I did a fabulous job of clipping E’s head. My husband however, hacked the living daylights out of E’s head with the razor. I think I must have put 20 pieces of t.p. on the spots where he was bleeding. Poor Eric, he was a good sport about it.

The next brave soul was Jim Mitchel and he was a piece of cake, he has a great shaped head and there were no shaving mishaps on either Anderson watch. Next in my chair was Bo Mitchell. The future Mrs. Bo Mitchell wanted me to shave his hair into a “Bo Hawk” and that is what I did. Apparently she is going to take care of the rest today or tomorrow. Go Kari!

And the last of the Mohicans in the chair was none other than Jeffrey Bartels! I was sad to see the flat top go but it was his choice. We had a couple of do’s along the way, first we shaved the Mohawk, which looked great, then we did the Charlie Brown chunk in the front and then we took him down to bald and shaved off half the beard. No one in the room, including his wife Vickie, has ever seen Bart without a full beard! I have to say, Bart is a styling man and is looking rather hot with the goatee and bald head. Oh sure he’s 6’ 5” so that may have something to do with it too. You’re a lucky girl Vickie!

In any case, I want to thank everyone who participated by bringing food and drink and helping with clean up duty, I appreciate it very much. I also want to thank those who shaved their heads to support me in my battle, that was such a wonderful gesture of support and I really love you all for being here for me. I hope everyone enjoys the pictures, they are really fun. Thank you again for everyone’s love and support, you are all the best!

Love to you all,

Jen

Thanks KS95, Moon & Staci - Hat and Headgear Update

Hi Everyone,

First and foremost I would like to thank Moon and Staci at KS95 for posting my blog on their web site and for all of the KS95 listeners who have taken an interest in my story. Thank you for your support and messages, the kindness of total strangers never ceases to amaze me.

Well we’re in a period of treatment that not much new is happening. It’s chemo every two weeks and pretty much a waiting game. Here are some observations about some of the things that I have been dealing with during chemo.

Good Things:

I don’t have to shave my legs any more, I like that.
I don’t have to shave my underarms any more either, I like that too.
Those three pesky chin hairs are no longer a concern.
I don’t have to do my hair.
I’m saving money on shampoo and conditioner.
I can be showered and ready in about 15 minutes.
I found out that I look good in hats.
My head is not shaped funny.

Bad Things:

I get tired out pretty easily.
The anti nausea drugs are miserable to get off of after I don’t need them to do what they do any more. I’m a twitchy, high strung mess for about 3 days, and nights.
I drink a ton of water and have to get up in the middle of the night at least 4 times.
Constipation. I won’t elaborate any further.
My taste buds like sweet and starchy foods now. Especially honey. Not great for the waist line.
Nausea will come out of no where pretty quickly.

So you can see why no one really likes to talk about any of this stuff. They pretty much hit you with it moments before treatment begins so you won’t dwell on what you can’t change. It’s probably a good thing that they do, otherwise no one would show up for chemo. All in all I think I am doing quite well through this and am pretty confident that March 29th will be my last chemo day. Keep your fingers crossed.

In any case, I am completely bald now, oh sure I have some stubble but what is left looks a little like male patterned baldness. (J.R. Says: I don't see a problem with that!) I’d like to think it’s because I just haven’t rubbed that part of my head much yet. The top is almost all gone, (that’s what everyone likes to rub when they see my head) and the back is almost all gone (from sleeping). So I look pretty funny. And you can now see my scar from 5th grade on the back of my head. (I had 5 stitches from a swing set incident). I still have my eyebrows and eye lashes and am not sure what the status of those will be long run.

As I have mentioned so often before, I have the greatest family and friends on the planet. To help me through the baldness, I have received a plethora of head gear gifts. And I went wig shopping too. I got my wig at the American Cancer Society, they take donations and buy wigs and provide them for free to cancer patients. I’ve received a beautiful scarf from Tom and Mary, a whole slew of baseballs hats from the Reed family. A box of fun showed up from Mary in Pittsburgh, Mitch and Paula got me a great suede hat and warm hats showed up from Jill in Seattle.

By the way, my wig makes J.R. look like one of the band members from Spinal Tap, especially when he breaks out the line “And our amps go up to 11!” in a British accent. (J.R. Says: Trying on Jen's wig is not to be considered a lifestyle change....not that there is anything wrong with that.) Mary and John Carters son, one year old Ethan, however, looks like Tina Turner from “Thunderdome”. He’s so cute! The babushka looking thing is not mine, I only tried it on in the store but it was a total riot. I am pretty sure KJ has me on video doing some bad rendition of Russian dance steps with it on. I loved it because it was warm and funny but I was not about to spend $345 on something that just made me laugh.

So that’s it for now, thanks for listening and I hope this e-mail finds you all well today! Thank you once again for your love and support, you are all the best!

Love to you all,

Jen

Mohawk for a Day / Lambert for Strength During Chemo

1/8/07

Hi Everyone,

Well my hair is coming out faster than I’d imagined it would so I went to drastic measures on Sunday. Steph and I went to see Christine again and I finally got my Mohawk. (at least for a day) Sorry Mom. I think I look pretty cute though. : )

Also, I have received the greatest “Be Tough During Chemo” gift of all time. After I sent out my Chemo e-mail, our dear friend Jason Hudoba responded in such a generous way that I can not thank him enough. As you know I am a huge Vikings fan since moving to Minnesota in 1993, however as Coach Cowher said in his resignation speech; "You can take the girl out of Pittsburgh, but you can't take Pittsburgh out of the girl." Being born in Pittsburgh and growing up a Steelers fan, many of you know that #58, Jack Lambert, is my all time favorite player. Jason, however, did not. Call it divine intervention, call it just plain great taste. As Jason was looking for something to make me feel better and stronger for all the remaining chemo sessions, he presented me with the most fabulous picture of no other than #58 himself, Jack Lambert. I can't think of a better image to get strength then from the toughest linebacker ever to play in the NFL.

My new anti nausea drugs are working so much better than the last ones, I had a pretty good weekend all in all. I was fatigued, but not nauseated like the last time. We love when a plan finally comes together.

That’s it for now, I do not have anything all that interesting on the horizon outside of some physical therapy and lab follow ups. Thank you again for joining me on this journey, for your thoughts and prayers and love and friendship. I appreciate it all.

Love to you all!

Jen

Chemo #2 - Hair Update

Hi Everyone,

I promise to keep this short and sweet. Yesterday I had Chemo #2. As you know the first one really kicked my butt so the plan was to change the anti nausea meds this time around. The short version is they worked…...so far. I received a shot that holds off nausea for 5 days called Aloxi. I wish they had pulled that trick in the bag out a little sooner. They also switched my Kytril prescription with Emend, I take it while I receive chemo and for two days afterward. So far so good. And they added Decadron in a pill form for three days too, it helps the Emend to work better. This in addition to the Compazine and Atavan. If all this can’t keep the nausea under control then they have more drastic measures to help. I won’t mention what those are unless I have to go there. They do not sound pleasant.

Also on the radar is my hair situation. My friend Christine came over after work to cut my hair into a Mohawk as I requested. As she was cutting, she formed my hair into a pretty cute cut so I did not go as far as the Mohawk but trust me, this weekend I will have one. My hair is still falling out rapidly and mostly it’s just a pain in the neck to deal with. Literally. This morning when I woke up my back was all itchy from the hair falling down the shirt of my man jammies and sticking to my back. For a second I thought I looked like the furry guy in the hot tub on the Carnival Valor 2006 cruise trip. But at least he was pasty white too, so that was a good look.

A quick shower took care of that hair plus another bunch of hair. It’s more annoying than upsetting so don’t feel bad for me that it’s falling out. At this point I’m looking forward to being bald. Oh, and all of those who thought I was a light brown with blonde highlights kind of gal, not so much. My hair is as dark as you can imagine. Who knew? I’ve been coloring it so long even I had no idea!

I showed JR how much hair came out when I brushed it yesterday and he put it on top of his head like Donald Trump, it was a riot. We should have taken a picture of it. That was the defining moment for me to cut my hair short, plus when your hair falls out it is really itchy! OK, I think that is it for now. Thank you for listening and for your thoughts and prayers, I appreciate your love and support very much. Have a fabulous day!

All my love,

Jen

The Sky is Falling, The Sky is Falling!

January 2, 2007

Oh wait, that’s just my hair! Its official folks, my hair is falling out. For all of you wishful thinkers out there who said, “Maybe yours won’t fall out.” I appreciate the optimism, but what in our history together made you think mine wouldn’t fall out? Of course it’s going to fall out!

I’ve got to tell you, it’s really weird too. I was told that it falls out in clumps but I did not know what that would look like. Well, it looks like clumps. About 10 – 20 hairs in a clump. My favorite feature about hair falling out in clumps is that it gets tangled up with the hairs still clinging to scalp at the very end so it looks like a really bad extension job.
So I’ll be walking around with normal looking hair and in one spot there will this extra long hair, trailing down my back. And when I say my hair is falling out, I mean all of it.

I purposely didn’t shave my legs for a week so I could tell when my hair falls out. Yup, you can tell. Underarms, same thing. And I am very happy about the arm pit hair going. Before surgery, I had nice flat surfaces to shave, after surgery, one flat surface, one Rocky Mountain surface. When ever I shave the Rocky Mountain side, I can’t get one little tuft of hair so it looks like I have a baby troll stuck underneath my arm. I’ll be glad when that hair falls out.

Also I am hoping that the chin hairs fall out too. For those of you not old enough to get chin hairs yet. Surprise! You will. But at least your eye sight will be failing at the same time and K-Mart lighting won’t be bright enough for you to pluck them. There’s a reason for all of those Day Spa’s with young girls and good eyesight you know.

I am not so sad about my hair falling out; I know it will grow back. Everyone keeps telling me that it will come back dark and curly. Great, add wiry to that description and I will have pubic hair on my head. And if my eyebrows fall out and the hair comes back dark and curly then I can get a gig selling juice makers on TV.

My plan was to cut my pony tail off and then shave my hair into a Mohawk. I’ve never had one before and think they’re pretty cool. Back in college when a Mohawk would have fit in, I was too chicken to get one. Well that and it was the 80’s and I was pushing maximum density of the hair. And my parents would have strangled me. Now that I am 40 and not as cool as I once was, I’m pretty sure my boss would want to strangle me if I had one. Since my hair is falling out at a rapid pace, I will have a very small window of time to have a Mohawk. A couple of day’s maybe. A chunky one. Ha!

I will more than likely be going for the shave this weekend, pending how I feel after chemo. I have high hopes because they are changing my anti nausea meds. So. Who wants to go wig and / or scarf shopping? I know Paula is in for scarf shopping. And I need a nice soft hat too, so my little bald head won’t get cold. Next week in the evenings will be best for me so let me know.

Enjoy your hair while you have it and be nice to it. JR will have an updated picture of me holding the hair that fell out this morning on our blog later today. If you haven’t looked at it yet it’s http://jensbreastcancerfight.blogspot.com/. Happy New Year and have a fabulous day. Don’t go changing on me!

Love to you all!

Jen